soft and beautiful

so i mentioned that i would like some arrows to show me the direction. i feel a bit like these little seeds as they float in the air: it's pretty, and it feels good to be carried by the wind, but it mainly makes me dizzy, it's hard to focus - and i cannot help but wonder, anxiously, where i will land.

i was just writing a looong post about the things i am considering and what is going on, but i don't feel ready or capable to talk about it (i am writing it as if there's something specific. there isn't, which is the problem). so i deleted what i wrote. i am confused, ambivalent, caught between what is good for one thing, what is good for another, and what is good for something else. what is good for family, what is good in the long run, in the short run, and what is good for me, now, tomorrow and next year. it is such a puzzle to make financial, emotional, family, relationship etc ends meet. to make a good compromise, to make everyone as happy as i would like them to be. including myself.

to match this kind of unfocused and blurry talk, i thought, i would share a few more shots from my first role of film. i know: under exposed and too close up - but there's something about them i like. maybe the stillness, the softness, is what appeals, what i need...

here is to soft and beautiful landings.