as i said, sundays are mondays around here. a new week began. it was a quiet weekend. i wish i could say in the good way quiet. well, it was in a way. but i had my own private blues going on. i know. it's not the time. i have vacation and soon i am leaving for denmark to see friends a family. and still i felt down. cannot say exactly why. a mix of things, decisions to make, a stupid fight blown out of proportions. over time the things that were ignored. and those other things that were said and done, still echoing, leaving shadows.
sometimes i am not too fond of myself. i fall deep into a feeling and then it is like everything that was and still is leaks through every little opening, like a word or a thought. it makes me so heavy i cannot move.
i was lying on the bed, starring at the buzzing fan. it's fascinating how hard it is to focus on the moving blades. it's all a blur. but the moment you actually manage to catch a blade with the eye, it is so easy. round and round. the trick is to block out the rest. just keep going. i am still trying to figure out that trick.
in the meanwhile i will get started on a new week. sometimes a new beginning can do wonders. even if it is just another day.
When you sail and the wind is hard and there are a lot of things going on in the boat and outside the waves are dark and high, the thing I have learned to focus on are the captain..)
ReplyDeletesails and tell-tails, not the waves or the noises Something I have learned that makes sense too in day to day living.
.. but,life is hard work isn't it?
Hope the blues will blow over soon.
Sending you all the best wishes.
I agree with elisvemeulen. Sometimes life is hard work. And I agree with you, each day is a new beginning, for all of us, if we let it be. That can be the hard part.
ReplyDeleteHoping your new day and your new week is filled with Light and Love.
I like the fan blade comparison, very true, very right. Interesting how this caught your attention. I understand what you are saying and that particular feeling is familiar. So I'm wishing you lots of light, happiness and balance again. Big hug to you Trinsch...
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping a lighter, brighter week is coming, and you can regain buoyancy and focus.
ReplyDeletesometimes i have this anticlimax blues too. after really busy, intense times, when a holiday starts. it's as if what holds you together when you must, suddenly stops working. sometimes i don't get the blues, i just get a flu instead.
ReplyDeletewhat i'm trying to say, i guess, is that i have a feeling this might have to do with exhaustion. sometimes you may need to give your body and soul a moment to adjust. and then, given a little time, you will have a beautiful holiday.
be kind to yourself and don't think to hard about the whys.
*love* fortunately life has its ups too.
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing
ReplyDeletei recognize myself in your words.
i hope you will feel lighter again.
soon. and that your vacation will be fabulous!
love
sara
What a very beautiful post, and evocative writing about a mood.You have a special way of capturing those fluctuating feelings that make up our daily life oftenmost. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteah, this was a very resonating post, as ever beautifully written and illustrated. sometimes all it takes is a new day to rest the mood other times it takes a little bit longer, i echo Kristina's advice in being kind to yourself, summer is wonderful but it's hard work!
ReplyDeleteCheers to new beginnings. Best wishes for a light and happy week. oxo
ReplyDeleteI hear you. Me too. xo
ReplyDeletei hope all this blues is gone for good... this set of photos is simply gorgeous!
ReplyDelete