Sunday, July 11, 2010
as i said, sundays are mondays around here. a new week began. it was a quiet weekend. i wish i could say in the good way quiet. well, it was in a way. but i had my own private blues going on. i know. it's not the time. i have vacation and soon i am leaving for denmark to see friends a family. and still i felt down. cannot say exactly why. a mix of things, decisions to make, a stupid fight blown out of proportions. over time the things that were ignored. and those other things that were said and done, still echoing, leaving shadows.
sometimes i am not too fond of myself. i fall deep into a feeling and then it is like everything that was and still is leaks through every little opening, like a word or a thought. it makes me so heavy i cannot move.
i was lying on the bed, starring at the buzzing fan. it's fascinating how hard it is to focus on the moving blades. it's all a blur. but the moment you actually manage to catch a blade with the eye, it is so easy. round and round. the trick is to block out the rest. just keep going. i am still trying to figure out that trick.
in the meanwhile i will get started on a new week. sometimes a new beginning can do wonders. even if it is just another day.