the tasty secret

watermelon with feta cheese. this unusual combination was entirely new to me when i came to israel 7 years ago. as most other fruits and vegetables in israel, watermelon is a seasonal thing. it is a summer thing. in fact watermelon is summer around here.

the beach cafes and restaurants will usually serve it in slices with feta cheese on the side. and that's how i tasted it first. that is, after i had debated with d for a while that it was the most bizarre combination. i mean, fresh and sweet watermelon with salty and creamy feta...?! anyway, i could have saved my energy and just tasted the darn thing. then i would have known from the beginning, that it is such a perfect combination. and that it actually makes absolutely sense.

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i googled it before posting and i think it's safe to say that it's not really a secret. in fact there are plenty of recipes out there with watermelon and feta as main ingredients. but for me it was absolutely new. and i have noticed that that is the case for many foreigners visiting israel, so maybe i will actually surprise a few of you out there.

but - tadaaa - i have my own version of this salad: cut both feta and watermelon into cubes, add roasted pine nuts and some fresh mint leaves and you have a totally yummy, fresh summer salad that takes you pretty much 5 minutes to make. (and it even looks really good, right?)

corner view: best kept secret

i think i might have build up a momentum for this corner view, one i'm afraid i cannot live up to. oops. sorry about that :)

so, i said i would go and buy the ingredients for this - tasty - best kept secret of mine. but i didn't. i skipped grocery shopping yesterday because i was too tired. and the reason why i was tired? well, i realized that the reason why i was so tired, is in fact one of the best kept secrets about me. ohhh. and it's a dark one. ooohhhh. literally.

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i have a thing with dark, quiet nights. not very often and not always, but sometimes i have this fear of falling asleep when it's dark and quiet, and i'm all alone. which i hardly am anymore, since we're a family of five.

the summer when i was 19 and just finished high school, i was living on my own. that summer, one night, i had this dream, or feeling, like i was caught in that very moment, when you're just falling asleep, but not yet. this weird moment that you don't realize is there, unless you suddenly become aware of it, and then it's already gone. this night i got aware of it, but it didn't go away. i felt awake in a dream. and someone was in the room with me, but i couldn't move. my body had frozen. i couldn't turn around, shake myself out of it.

i am still wondering if i was frozen from fear, because i was scared beyond believe. or if the whole thing was a dream, that wouldn't let go and only faded ever so slowly, leaving me with a pounding heart and shaking hands. and this deep fear of being caught in that moment again. and sometimes that fear reappears. the fear of fearing.

i have later settled with the believe that i had a good old-fashioned anxiety attack, probably due to all the stress a kid feels when high school is over and the "real" life is set to begin.

that summer i mostly stayed awake until dawn if i was on my own. luckily it was summer, so lot's of summerhouses and vacation gave me the company of family and friends. and those nights i would be on my own, well, thank god i was in denmark, where the first light of dawn appears before 4 in the morning during the summer.

but once in a blue moon this fear of falling asleep returns. i never really talk about it, so most people don't know. the next day the fear is almost as faded and impossible to grasp as those dreams that are caught on the tip of your tongue. but it really hardly ever happens anymore. and anyway, the bedroom looks so peaceful and soft in the early morning light.

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these last two nights, being alone with the kids, i had this fear again. not big time (it helps being a tired mom). nevertheless it just felt darker and more quiet than usual in the house after the kids went to sleep. and i somehow managed to postpone bed time, despite being worn out. and when i did go to bed, my senses were all over the place.

last night i dozed off around 2, i think. then around 3 j woke and i gave him water to drink. and i asked if he wanted to sleep in our bed. while listening to him breathing, quietly, i felt at peace. and i slept good the rest of the night. but a little part of me almost felt ashamed. like it wasn't fair to use my baby to keep my own fears away in the dark night. does it make any sense?

want more secrets? there are plenty to dive into:

jane, ladybug-zen, ian, bonnie, esti, sophie, cele, modsquad, caitlin, joyce, ani, kim, a day that is dessert, natsumi, epe, kaylovesvintage, trinsch, c.t., jeannette, outi, ritva, francesca, state of bliss, jennifer, dana, denise, cabrizette, bohemia girl, dianna, isabelle, amber, a girl in the yellow shoes, mister e, janis, kari, jgy, skymring, elizabeth, audrey, allison, lise, cate, victoria, crescent moon, erin, otli, ida, caroline, lisa, dorte, kimmie, la lune dans le ciel, nicola, malo, vanessa, britta, april, b, kyndale samantha, karen, kristina, dorit, goldensunfamily, sophie, janet, mcgillicutty, desiree, di, travelingmama, aimee, sunnymama, amanda, ali, jenell, guusje, britta, juanita, pamela, inna, daan, myrtille, cris, ibb, susi, jodi, lily, gillian, athena, pienduzz, latisha, clairette, kelleyn, iris, demara, mus, ninja

summer gift: the books

nope, these are not the best kept secret (this week's corner view theme). the best kept secret is coming up. i just need to get to the grocery store and buy the ingredients. can't show and tell without a photo, you know. until then another amazing gift i have been spoiled with.

d has been in new york on and off this month because of work. which didn't make The Month of Sickness any easier (and i hope this will be the absolute final time i mention it. probably you start to hope that too. sickness is boring).

he went last week, came back for the weekend, just in time to get the bug and start antibiotics before he left again.

he brought back these books last week. i have been wanting for a while, but didn't think i really needed them. but when hewas passing barnes & nobles constantly, i thought it would be a shame to not have him bring me these.

i am not really sure when i'll have time to actually read them, not to mention try the recipes in a homemade life, or the printing techniques in printing by hand. but it's ok. so far i am happy to just look at them and look forward to the things i will try at some point. and to admire their beautiful covers.

summer gift: the floral print dress

my mom gave me this beautiful dress on that one day where we escaped sick children or being sick ourselves (in 3 weeks!) and managed to spent an afternoon in the tel aviv. and then she took these beautiful photos of me and j in our garden today.

he didn't go to kindergarten. we have had another week of sickness. this month seems like it's been the never-ending story of sickness. i know i wrote last week that we were fine. and i thought so, but i was wrong as the entire family is now on antibiotics due to a throat infection. we were given exactly 3 days of somewhat normality before the fever struck the first child again. then the next, my mom, me, d, and finally last child.

as much as i don't like taking antibiotics, or to give it to the kids, i was a stage where i was like "whatever works, i'll take it". i cannot describe my gratitude when the antibiotics started to work, the fever cleared and things started to get better. thank you so much, modern science! if you ever need anything, just let me know.

same goes for you, sweet television. even though i'm pretty liberal when it comes to kids and television (as long as i choose what they see), i do have limits. but they completely vanished as we all got sick again. and again. now when every one seems to be well, it's time for the big time tv-detox in this house. that, i am sure, will not be an easy fight. but i will win: the remote is under my control :)

neve tzedek

neve tzedek means "place of justice" or "garden of justice". it is the name of one of the oldest neighborhoods in tel aviv, founded in 1887 by a group of jewish families looking for a more peaceful place than what they could find in the crowded town of jaffa.

as tel aviv was founded in 1909 - just celebrated its 100 year anniversary - neve tzedek became quickly became the connecting point between the two cities dynamic cities of jaffa and tel aviv, which today. many artists made neve tzedek their home together with wealthy tel avivians looking for peace and quiet. later, during the mid-20th century neve tzedek was neglected, and in the 1960's it was close to being demolished.

luckily that didn't happen, and during the 1980's efforts began to renovate and preserve the old and beautiful architecture of neve tzedek. cultural establishments found new homes in old buildings, among them the suzanne dellal dance and theater Center and the nahum gutman museum, which is actually located in the home of this russian born painter, sculptor and writer.

today neve tzedek is a fashionable and popular upmarket residential area. the little street of this amazing place is now again filled with creativity: artists' studios, galleries and little shops selling hand made crafts and art. and of course plenty of great cafes and bars alongside cozy and amazing restaurants.

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a little note: i have decided to take a break from my "this red monday" posts. maybe they will return, maybe they will change to another color, maybe i will come up with something completely different. we'll see... :)

daan's pirates

some time ago daan from maandagdaandag had a giveaway with gray boy's underwear with a pirate print. and i won! yihaa! that would be the first and - so far ;) - only time i won a giveaway.

so i was very excited when i received the present. and i love it. and so do the boys. which means it will probably not just be used as underwear, more like all around summer wear. they didn't even fight about how to divide it.

thank you so much, daan. it is really beautiful :)

they didn't love my photo session though, so i had to bribe them with pringles (yes, on occasions it happens that i bribe my children, if you don't, please tell me the secret).

bits of purple