Sunday, April 25, 2010

breath. and focus.

i was saying it a while back - that i need to focus. i am still working on it, but i am far from what i would like to. that goes for my own personal goals and thoughts of the future, as well as for my family and everyday time and planning. i have been feeling a bit frustrated lately. for several reasons, but a lot of it has to do with that good old feeling of not being on home turf.

as i have mentioned before, my twin boys are having some learning difficulties, their language and social skills are not as good as they are supposed for their age. they are happy boys and not causing problems, only concerns and thoughts about how to help them the best way. but obviously there is a lot of considerations and decisions to be made all the time, and here i feel that my lack of language is a big problem (and yes, it is my own fault that my hebrew is best used for casual chit-chat, rather than talks with speech therapist, school psychologist etc. oh, but trust me when i tell you that i am the first to be hard on me for that these days). also, it is hard not to be able to understand the system and the way things work, and to not have as big a network as i believe i would have in denmark. any way, i need to focus on the goal here and not make it into my own personal what-else-should-i-have-done-differently-and-better. but i must admit that i have had a few days of banging myself in the head for a lot of things.

i hope your week got off to a better start than mine. i'll try and jump right back up on that big horse and get things under control. it's all about breathing. and focus.


  1. i am sorry to read this.
    i can only imagine how difficult it must be to face all these questions away from you family.
    sending sweet thoughts your way.

  2. ah. dear Trinsch, those are struggles you face, but i'm certain you will. i really understand the focus and frustration elements of what you face, lack of one definitely leads to the other. but you'll get it back! and then i hope your focus remains unwavering.

  3. oh, i can imagine it is tricky. language is such a challenge. and can form such a barrier in life. moving abroad. being away. creates so many wonderful insights. but it can be oh so difficult at times.
    good luck. breathe and focus. it will be fine!

  4. You might try focusing on how LITTLE control we all actually have as mothers and human beings. That releases you from burdens, I think, and enables you to take care of the task at hand. I imagine that language barrier is a serious one, but surely you are motivated by love and that's what really matters (with a good dose of perseverance in these matters!) Good luck with it all!

  5. Oh my friend you do have alot to focus on and remember to breath. I feel your desire and love so strong. Sending you hugs... xo

  6. I'm having a hard time being quiet and supportive Trine as I know I should, all I feel like doing is questioning loudly how "happy and not causing problems" 4-ish (?) year olds can have social and language difficulties ... Just breath, focus, and be in control. Hugs.

  7. I have found your blog through my daughter, who has recently started her own blog. I have so enjoyed your lovely photos, artwork, and the fresh and real way you write about your life and family. Your boys are beautiful. And you have said the most important thing, they are happy. It is also obvious that they are much loved. These things are vital - all the others will fall into place. My daughter is now 20, a university student, but in the days when I was home schooling her and wondering and doubting about so many things in her life and growth, I was often overwhelmed. Yet, through love and prayer and time she has grown to be a lovely young woman. I wanted to write to encourage you that others have felt as you do now. And that, even though I am a stranger, I have been touched by your life and will pray for you and your family.

  8. When we care deeply, eventually things have a way of working out for the best I believe.

  9. This photograph is heartbreaking and hopeful all at once, Beautiful Trinsch.
    Twins go at their own pace, mine always have. They are a bit behind in ABC"S and 123's but very intuitive about people and very in touch with their imaginations. What they don't know they will learn but what they know I couldn't teach them. Age is only a measurement of time. I worry too, but I think things happen when they are supposed to. Believing that puts me at ease, a bit anyway. AS Mothers I guess we will always worry(:
    Wishing you a happier day tomorrow.

  10. I'm sorry to read this Trinsch.
    you say your boys are happy and not causing problems, then you are doing a great job. We all have those days when we feel inadequate and feel like we aren't doing the best for our kids, and not providing them the best opportunities but my dear if your boys are happy then you are being a great mother to them.
    I'm guessing you are feeling homesick and that's bringing on the frustrations and everything seems to be magnified. That's okay. But like you say breathe and focus. This feeling will pass and you will feel better. Give your boys time. Be happy with them.Show them that you're still learning the language too just like they are. Casual chit chat is the best way to learn a language I think - especially for children. And remember our children are much stronger than we think they are.
    I hope your week is getting brighter.
    sending smiles and hugs.

  11. Learned one good word and one expression which covers a whole era of concepts. sometimes you find a word and you wonder why you never understood its beauty and depth before.
    the word is 'nasty' simple and beautiful and you can say it about any and everything that does not go smoothly. Say it with attitude. Just try and see if it helps.
    the other thing is not done to write down, but I sometimes think it.
    hope you find your horse soon.

  12. I know about the lack of language and how it can be difficult, but their happiness is the key of success, just keep going on like that...

    Sending you a big hug.

  13. i just found your blog through spain daily and became instantly absorbed. i agree with what leslie said and would encourage you to step back and look at the big picture. my brother and i were raised speaking german and moved to america when we were 3 and 6. my brother was put into speech therapy and they were concerned that he had a learning disability. but, looking back, he is now a commercial airline pilot, we know his troubles came from moving across the globe and having two languages spoken in his household. linguists say that children in bilingual homes will develop later in their speech abilities but they will have two! what a great gift! i assume you and your husband both speak your native languages to your children. try not to worry. the teachers just have to tell you how things are going and sometimes what they have to say can sound scary and like you've done something wrong (i taught first grade for 8 years and was very sensitive to this). trust in your parenting and in the love you give your boys. i'm sure all will turn out fine.