Monday, January 24, 2011
i like the winter right now. i know we need more rain, but i like these bright days, blue sky and nice warm days. and i like that it's chilly at night, making the mornings clear and beautiful. the nature right now is a perfect mix of what's left from the summer, the new green and the first flowers, and the light. oh that long, soft afternoon light.
i am probably going back to work. i am not really fit for this freelance work. maybe because of lack of motivation, or maybe it's work discipline i'm lacking. could be both, now i think about it. usually they go together. i miss an evening being an evening and a weekend being a weekend. not always having some unfinished work project breathing down my neck.
it will be hard and it will mean changes. it scares me, and at the same time i think it might be good for us with some leveling out. meaning sharing the parenting and the money making. i hope it will be good for the kids too, but i cannot help but thinking they might end up being the losers in this deal. i hope not. whatever way it's done, change or not, there's always compromising. we'll see. first i need a contract, i guess. but if it's not this job, then it will be the next. i will be going back to work.